I know who I am.
At least I thought I did. I live on a rural island; I’m
middle income; I like to watch from the shadows (unless someone hands me something I’ve written and leads me to
a stage, then I want to read.) But mostly I’m happy in the shadows watching,
cheering.
And I’m fortunate that my life has granted me this
anonymity.
But then things began to change. Thanks to your support,
dear reader, this blog began to grow in followers and page views. Thanks to
kind people I began to receive more and more validation for my writing.
Maybe, I thought. Maybe my dreams for my author career will
become reality.
Well, my heart sang. I was so happy, so full of hope.
But then… But then I experienced another emotion—a more
powerful one.
I knew who I was in the shadows. I was comfortable there. I
belonged there.
Who am I? How dare I? It’s not really happening. It’s just
my imagination. I’m not worthy. Soon they’ll know. Someone will stop me. I want
to grow. I want to succeed. Oh, how I want to remain right here in the shadows.
I’m comfortable here.
Anxiety.
What do I do?
I’m fortunate to have a strong support system—people who
know me, well. They’ve seen me grow from one life transition to another. I know
I can rely on their unfailing support.
And I have new people in my life. Successful people.
Successful artists. People who have seen their dreams become reality. People
who have ridden the tide of change, with style and grace. People that light the
way for my own evolution.
