I'm A Knitter (short story, humour) by Leanne Dyck

Knitters have a code. What if you break that code?

photo by Manon

I'm A Knitter

Really, I'm not a bad person. I don't mistreat small animals. I like kids. I just have this one small vice. Please don't judge me.

I have been knitting now for twenty years. You would think that I would be turning out wonderful tapestries of colour. I see the patterns. I admire the garments. Really, honestly, I do. They're just...well...and it pains me to confess this...um, well...they're just not what I want to knit. You see, I'm a "lazy knitter." It's hard for me to admit—but it's true.

After a hard day, I love nothing better than to kick back, grab my needles and some yarn, turn off my brain, and knit. That's why I knit scarves. I must have turned out twenty or thirty of these useful pieces of apparel. All necks are adorned by my stitches. My husband. Our kids. The milkman. Our dog.

I see the looks. I hear the whispers.

"She's not a knitter. She wastes her time knitting scar-ves."

I know I and my kind are not welcome in knitting groups.

They say, "You can't simply knit a scarf! You have to add cables, intarsia, or..."

And I have tried. Really, honestly, I have.

Graphs and lace work just aren't for me. They cause eyestrain. They damage my brain. I hate math!

I turn to knitting for solace. It's my means of escape. If I wanted to work on my hobby, I would take up gardening.

All I want is acceptance. All I want is to belong. Surely, that's not too much to ask. Surely, I'm not alone. Surely, there is someone out there who can understand. 

I'm a knitter... Aren't I?

photo by bdyck

Recently, my friend Manon and I went on another off-island adventure. This time we sailed to Salt Spring Island—a big sister island to my island home, Mayne Island.

For me, a highlight of that trip was visiting Artcraft Gallery and Shop.

AI Overview: "Artcraft is the longest-running juried fine art and handmade craft exhibition in British Columbia."

Visiting Mahon Hall (114 Rainbow Road) brought back vivid memories of delivering suitcases full of handknitting in early June. Each year my handknit baby sweaters sold like hotcakes.

On this tip, I was pleased to discover that an artisan has stepped up to fill the void my aching wrists forced me to leave.

photo by ldyck

Artcraft is open daily from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM until September 20, 2026.

I Would (poem) by Leanne Dyck

A fun, tongue-twisting poem and the ancient poem it inspired

photo by ldyck

 I Would 

I would.

if I could.

But I can't

so I won't.

Would you

if you could?

If you would,

go

do.

written May 2026

I wrote this poetry review in 1987 for the University of Winnipeg’s Children’s Literature course.

I would if I could

If I couldn’t, how could I?

I couldn’t, without I could, could I?

Could you, without you, could ye?

Could ye? Could ye?

Could you, without you could, could ye?

I love the nonsense of this traditional Mother Goose nursery rhyme. It seems to flow in a silly fashion, begging to be told. It gives far more in fun and frolic than it ever demands of the listener. It does, however, have a message: that it is silly and unnecessary to think too much. I agree wholeheartedly with its unmistakable logic.

photo by ldyck

My friend and fine artist Jody Waldie at her recent art show on Mayne Island.

Terrill Welch Gallery Spotlight on artist Jody Waldie

by Terrill Welch

September 25, 2022