Sunday, August 24, 2014

Visiting B.C. (the conclusion)--a short story by Leanne Dyck

Twenty-two years ago this month we did this...

The following story is a fictionalized account of how he popped that question...

(In case you missed them or want to re-read them, parts one, two)

Floyd's parents were waiting for us on the other side. "Congratulations. You crossed the bridge. We didn't know if you were going to be able to make it."

"Neither did I," I told them and they laughed.

"Lyndi, come with me. I want to talk with you." Floyd sounded so serious.

So this is it. This is when he tells me that it's been fun but he's dumping me. We left his parents on the other side of that lookout tower and walked over to the other side. Well, I'm not going to cry. Oh, who am I kidding. I love him; I'm going to bawl like a baby. 

He cupped my hands in both of his. "Lyndi, we've known each other for several months now."

"But I just don't love you," I imagined him saying. My mind was so full of worry that I barely heard him.

"Things seem to be going okay," he told me.

My world began to spin. All I could do was nod. I guess he took that as I sign that I was understanding him because he continued, "I love you with my whole heart and."

What is he saying? What does he mean? I don't understand.

"I want to marry you."

He wants to... What?

"Lyndi, what I'm trying to say... What I want to ask you is, will you marry me?"

Then his words slowly started to make sense. He...wants...to...marry...me. The heavens opened, angels sang, doves flew, the entire world rejoiced--but I think that was all in my head. I wanted to dance. I wanted to jump around wildly. But then I remembered where I was and kept my feet firmly planted on that piece of lumber that was balanced on a few tiny boards a million miles in the air. The most I could do was lean over to him and give him a tight squeeze. "Can I think it over." I said because I wanted to make him laugh.

It worked. He laughed. We kissed. And then I said, "Of course, are you kidding. You don't have to ask me twice."

He dug into his jacket pocket. "You know." He pulled out a box. "This is the reason the security guards stopped me." He opened the box. "This is the reason we almost didn't make it out of the airport." A diamond caught a ray of sun.

"But we did," I said, between giggles. "And we made it across that bridge. And now... And now we're..."

We said the word together. "Engaged."

"But I only have one question," I said. "With our heads in the clouds, how are we going to be able to make it back across that bridge?"

"Together," he told me--and we did. And we still are...

Guest Post Friday:  Towerbabel by Anthony Chan

Sharing my author journey...

So far this year I've sent out 50 submissions. This week I'll send out three more. I've submitted my stories to book publishers, literary journals and writing contests. Last week I received the results from one of the contests I entered--Women Fiction Writers Association Rising Star contest. Five winners were announced. My name wasn't among them. But I feel like I won because of the helpful feedback I received. 

One judge wrote:  'This author's work displays many favorable attributes. The author has an eye for detail. She weaves emotion throughout. It's noted in the synopsis, the story is based on a true story and I suspect that contributed to the strong story world created in this manuscript. I think this author has great potential. The submission is missing some tools that would make the story much stronger, and ready for publication. So I'll offer what I was told early in my own career by a mentor:  I am the dentist. You have good teeth, but I'm going to work on the bad ones so you have a fabulous smile!'

The judges pointed out that I needed to more clearly define the protagonist's goals; use stronger words so the reader can 'see' the story; and build more immediacy into the story.

I'm truly thankful for their time and attention. Their feedback is helping me to build a stronger story.





6 comments:

20Pat said...

Aw, what a beautiful story and beautiful memory!

Leanne Dyck said...

: ) Thank you, Pat. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my story.

Laurie Buchanan said...

Leanne - I love HAPPILY EVER AFTER stories. Especially when they're well written and engaging. THANK YOU for a wonderful three-part series!

Leanne Dyck said...

Ah, thank you, Laurie.
A story isn't much without someone to tell it to. Thank you for reading my story.

Sammee44 said...

I'm so glad the ring made it across the Border AND didn't fall out of his pocket on the swinging bridge! I bet it doesn't feel like 22 years since your wedding day--Congratulations!

Leanne Dyck said...

: ) Thank you for your kind comment, Sammee44. Needless to say, I too am very glad that there was a happy ending to all of that. : ) And you are right, it sure doesn't feel like 22 years--most days. : )