Dreams about having a newly published picture book inspired this short story.
Not a Mother but...
I read my newly published picture book to my audience of children and parents. Then I begin the Q and A.
Some of the questions are about the book, but others... Others...
"How many children do you have?" Asks a little girl who sits on her mother's lap.
"None. I'm not a mom," I tell her.
"Don't you like kids? Mom says that people that don't like kids don't have--."
Mom says, "Mia, I never said that." To me, she says, "I don't know where she comes up with this stuff."
"Yes, you did." Mia hooks her hand around Mom's neck and brings her head down to face her. "Remember?"
Sensing that Mom feels trapped, I jump in with, "It's okay. I imagine that could be true for some women, but it's never been true for me. I like children and for many years I wanted to be a mom. In fact, I remember telling my parents I wanted to have eight children."
"Eight?" someone says.
"Yes, that's what my dad said. Eight? just like that and then he suggested names for the last two--Ben-jam-in and Phil-up."
Someone laughs and then others do too.
It puts me at ease and so I continue, "Instead of having my own children, I worked in daycare centres for fourteen years helping to care for other people's children. I also adopted cats and dogs and, in a different way, mothered them. And I mother the books I write. And through the stories I share, I like to think that I'm mothering my readers."
Mia gives me a funny look and I know she's having trouble understanding some of what I'm saying. I hope that maybe she'll talk about what I've said with her mother and together they'll understand.
I lift my gaze and speak to the entire audience, "I never thought I could be happy without being a mom, but I was wrong. There are many ways to mother and there are many ways to be happy. And I am very happy." I look at Mia sitting so comfortably on her mother's lap and for a split second I feel Mia's weight on my lap and I think, what if? So I add, "Mostly I'm happy." But then I smile for Mia is where she is meant to be and so am I.
More...
Books to read to make Mother's Day easier
an article by Marisa Bate
May on this Blog...
In celebration of short story month
This weekend on Mayne Island
Yesterday, Saturday, I attended Pam Wither's book launch at the Mayne Island Library
