me in Kindergarten
The commonly held definition of
dyslexia is that it is a difficulty with learning to read. But this
is a condensed definition. The challenges people with dyslexia face
and the severity of these challenges vary from person to person.
For me, deciphering the social codes
has always been a challenge—I never received my copy of that
handbook. When I manage to figure out how to respond often it’s too
late or, in a rush to be on time, a jumble of poorly pronounced
words. Writing allows me to slow down and think. It gives me an
opportunity to select the right word, tone, tense and to check for
clarity and accuracy.
At a young age I learnt that even
though my tongue may fail me, my pen seldom would. My first
publishing success came when I was still in elementary school—one
of my poems was published in the school newspaper. I repeated grade
two but once in middle school I was determined to excel. So I
divorced myself from any social interaction and books and studying
became my world. A middle school Language Arts teacher introduced me
to John Steinbeck and I fell in love with his writing. Mr. Steinbeck
gave voice to the voiceless. Writing gave me a voice. I had lots to
say but needed a venue. Through my writing I began to feel heard. I
graduated from high school with an award in Language Arts.
After graduation, the question of what
I would do next paralyzed me. I thought living the rest of my life on
my parents’ sofa was a solution. However, my parents wanted more
for me. From early childhood, despite what they’d been told, my
parents continued to believe in the soundness of my intellect.
Responding to my dad’s not so gentle pushing, I decided to join
Katimavik—a government-run youth group. You’d think that living
communally for nine months wouldn’t be the best situation for
someone with limited social skills. But you’d be wrong. Katimavik
was one of the most important experiences in my life. I completed the
program and won newfound confidence. With that confidence I entered
university. And I was amazed to find that I was able to obtain and
maintain a decent grade point average. I graduated from the program
and gained employment as an Early Childhood Educator.
me graduating from the University of Winnipeg's Child Care Worker Training Program
Throughout my life I’ve been able to
play the ‘help me’ card. But in my late twenties I met a man who
refused to play the game. That man became my husband and his special
brand of tough love continues to be one of the driving forces behind
my success.
Becoming an author had been a dream I’d
hidden away since my teens. Weakened by a family tragedy, I shared my
dream with my husband. I thought he was going to laugh or…—but
not him. “So, what are you going to do about it?”
The choice was clear either act to
fulfill my dream or abandon it. From 2006 to 2009, I self published
an audio book, paperbacks and Ebooks. Buoyed up by these successes, I
decided to pursue traditional publishing. So I made a pact to submit
one story—of whatever size—every month until something happened.
Well, things did start to happen. Within the last five years I’ve
had short stories published in Island Writer, Kaleidoscope, Canadian
Stories, Icelandic Connection and Island Gal. And I’ve also
completed five book-length manuscripts.
But years of self-doubt and low-self
esteem have taken their toll and have resulted in stress related
health problems. I thought joining a peer support group would help.
But when I was unable to find a group, I became my own advocate. I
now practice Tia Chi and Yoga as well as take Bach flower oil to help
me cope with anxiety.
I’m enheartened by the support now
available for children with learning disabilities. But am
disappointed by the lack of support for adults with learning
disabilities. Simply because we manage to jump through academic hoops
and graduate doesn’t mean our problems disappear. We still face
them—everyday. Lack of support leaves learning disabled adults with
health and employment problems—some of us wind up on the street or
in jail. Potential lost. Lives wasted. But it doesn’t have to be
this way. Something must be done. All of us deserve to have an
opportunity to have our own success story.
Increasing society’s knowledge of
dyslexia is a good starting point. And through non-fiction books such
as The Gift of Dyslexia by Ronald D. Davis and Understanding Dyslexia and Other Learning Disabilities by Linda Siegel this
goal is slowly being met. Hoping to help obtain this goal, I’ve
written a novel about my own experiences with dyslexia. And I
continue to push myself out of my comfort zone by, for example,
reading my writing during open mic nights.
I’d like to conclude with a poem…
I need you to know that I am
capable—even when I show my inability
I need you to have faith that I will be
able to pick myself up when I fall
I need you to let me show you what I’m
capable of—before you help me.
I need you to shout at the top of your
lungs, “Yes, you can! If not now—someday; if not without me—with
me.”
I need you to believe in me—even
when, especially when, I don’t.
This article was originally published on Sonia Marsh's Gutsy Living website.
Sharing my author journey...
This article was originally published on Sonia Marsh's Gutsy Living website.
Sharing my author journey...
